Taxol #2 - Will food taste like crap forever, and why can't I stop eating it if it does?

Round 2.  I had a completely written post, ready to go and publish and then I realized, man it was depressing. I can express all that I’m feeling in a different more entertaining way, but how?

The side effects of Taxol are becoming more obvious now that I’m getting further away from the tough stuff. The biggest thing is still the taste buds. So many foods that I loved that I either no longer love or taste completely weird. I tried a screw driver the other day. Liquor doesn’t really do too much for me these days, but every so often I have to try one…you know, just to see. And it was bland and weird. My bestie told me that she too found that the orange juice tasted strange. Whew. Not just me. So I tried a greyhound. Grapefruit juice strong enough to make any mouth pucker and strong enough for me to taste it? Yep, taste it I certainly did.  It had a hint of grapefruit, a hint of vodka, and a hint of … tuna!!?? Well that isn’t right and most likely isn’t the juice, but my taste buds.

So I give up on enjoying most foods without pouring three pounds of salt on it. On the bright side, dry mouth isn’t as bad. And another bright side with the weird taste buds, I’m having to drink more water again.  Water had fallen to the wayside because I was feeling good and now that I’m not feeling great again, I want the water. It's for the best, I more than need the water.

That is one side effect. The other new thing since being on Taxol is I can’t wear a hat to bed. I’ve been avoiding going bald to bed because of my own insecurities, but apparently the night sweats are happening. Don’t panic, readers. It’s only on my head and only when I wear my hat. Most likely it’s chemopause. (And the nurse's aren't worried yet) I wake up with my hat drenched. Not a lovely look. So I gave up on wearing those to bed and Kevin's fiance is officially bald to him.

For those that are unsure chemopause is like menopause. Happens during chemo and can lead to knocking me into menopause. Which I’m hoping doesn’t happen, but given that I still have 10 weeks left of Taxol, I don’t have high hopes.

And the last side effect to write about is eyebrows.  As in bye bye eyebrows.  I haven’t even learned how to draw them on yet…gulp! I’m sure I can find some youtube videos to help train me. There is still some left, but each shower, they are less and less.

But in all seriousness, I miss my old life before all of this. It's been since September when this all began and I'm just so sick of it all, but I guess I should really be grateful and not complain. And yet I can't help but miss my ignorance...shit if I'm asking for things I think I'd like to go back before Jake got sick and have him still be here too...but then I would ask for dad too... Boo! 

I guess I miss the boring, mundane life of work and home. Not worrying about bills, other than the normal pay check to pay check.  And maybe from time to time going to the doctor for a check up, but having everything be fine. I guess it won't be like that again for a long time. 

So in the meantime, I'll sport some new hair and paint on some eyebrows. And in the near future, I imagine I will try to master the art of fake eyebrows.