Taxol: Six of Them Left...

UPDATE: They said yesterday was six, but I only count 5. I will need to resolve this...

Sleeping has been my thing as of late, and when I’m not sleeping, I’m filling out paperwork or trying to keep up with the 5 year old. There is nothing like finding the energy to start doing the dishes and this when she wants me to help with her something. Seriously, for over an hour, nothing, and then I move or someone calls and she needs all of my focus. It's a wonder I get anything done with this not so tiny dictator in my home. Thank God for preschool or I think we would both be sick of each other by now. Okay, she adores me and I her, but some days...

Last week I went to treatment with my little brother. He is so cute.  (Don’t tell him I said that) We didn’t talk too much as we were both buried in our electronics we brought. I was bent over my laptop as the nurse tried to administer treatment. The cord kept getting in my way while I tried to type. But in my defense, I had to act quickly before she brought out the Benedryl. It's not long after this medication and I'm drooling and seeing 10 fingers...on one hand. 

Kellen, not noticing any of this as watched Netflix on IPAD. Whether we spoke or not it was nicer having someone with me than going it alone.

I hadn’t noticed neuropathy until this past week. My feet had become this weird fuzzy numbness on top of the dryness. I could only assume it was this neur..op..athy...the doctors spoke of. 

Now I have to be on the watch for this and whether or not it gets worse. I’m hoping with only 6 weeks left of chemo before the daily radiation begins that it won’t become too terrible. It can become permanent and I don’t want that to happen. I tend to not remember or notice things like this too much. I’m a big baby about needles, but yet I don’t react to other pain in the way that I should.

After celebrating, the kid brother’s birthday later that evening with a game of Pandemic (that is after we forced him off his laptop where he did nothing but talk to his friends online) I brought him home in the morning. It’s always lovely visiting with him. (sarcasm)

Next, I finally got back in to see my counselor, which they offer you with cancer treatment. It went well, but as is typical of me, I’m all over the place on topics in a short hour. It will be hard or I’ll need a lot of appointments just to nail down one topic. 

So many things stressing me out, not to mention our current POTUS, but I won’t get into that too much (if I can stop myself, which I probably won't be able to) as I know that it’s a very sensitive issue. I do get into it on my Facebook with posts here and there.  And I do delete posts that I don’t agree with, but I see that arguing with people almost seems fruitless. We only see what we want to see and we can’t see what we don’t understand or won't try to open our minds to understand. Yep just went off on a topic, I'll save that for another post I think. (Delete, delete, delete, delete)

So moving along, it was good to get things off of my chest. From my brother’s passing, who I have yet to deal with that, to financial issues, to wedding stress, to people that have aggravated me recently due to their lack of compassion for others, to cancer treatment, to just normal day to day. There is a heavy weight on me all of the time.  So this has likely contributed to me not updating my blog longer than usual. My heart simply hasn't been in writing. But hopefully that is changing now.

On another note, my daughter will be going with her dad this weekend. My wonderful fiancé and I will get some time to ourselves for the first time in awhile. It should be very stress relieving and relaxing. I think we will maybe go somewhere like a movie and play some board games, with out the tot taking the tiny pieces. She likes tiny objects.

Finally, today I went to another treatment, sans companion this time. And this round, along with the last, the port access was painless…thank the Lord. Another stressor, as I have mentioned previously.

I had my original Nurse again and the one I met recently. They are both such wonderful women. Quite frankly, they all are so wonderful. Doing what they do, makes me want to cry. To see what they see everyday (like most nurses), but dealing with life and death like they do and having such resolve to stay positive and happy for our benefits and making this process so much easier than it would otherwise be. I can’t thank them enough.

I had a later appointment this time, so no lunch menu, but that’s fine. It’s so flavorless for me. I remember enjoying the food so much more after having my daughter there, so I know it’s not horrible food. It’s not a five star restaurant, but no worse than cafeteria food in school. That’s just my opinion though.

Well I need more coffee and I have to finish getting Melina's bags ready for school and her dads, since insomnia and the head sweats have reared their ugly heads... It's totally sexy to be sweating from the bald head. Blah!